Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
