we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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