in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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