Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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