No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
