come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
