This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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