How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
People in love make me want to vomit
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
