You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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