chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
