Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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