We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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