The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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