Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
