she looked like the bat from fern gully.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Randomize
