Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
