I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
