whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Enjoy the penises
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
