i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
