Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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