My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
