i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize