you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
