Non-Jews are for practice
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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