some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
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