I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
