Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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