smell my finger.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
