She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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