Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
