everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I will be naked everywhere
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I came so hard my ears popped.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
