I like to think it a success when the cops are called
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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