Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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