Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
