I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize