Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
