I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Randomize
