I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
But break dance skills will only take you so far
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Randomize