How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
