Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Randomize
