I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
i out mim tonsoeep
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