I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
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