Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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