I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
