Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize