we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize