I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
