Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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