In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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