i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Randomize
