Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
