She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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