He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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