i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I licked your asshole in confidence.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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