My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
