They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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