Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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