I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
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