We're like a lot better than the average bears
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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