Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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