He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
