Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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