Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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