That's intense
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
