i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize