google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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