I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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