I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize