I'm really into asian looking animals
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
The uberlube is also flammable
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
